| family |
[Jun. 19th, 2006|08:45 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  bouncy | ] |
I am actually getting along with both my mother and father. It was never hard to get along with my mom. She actually takes time to understand unlike my father who just jumps to conclusions, and judges. Well, on the 9th of June, was their 28th anniversary. I totally forgot until I was leaving for work at 5 am, well I came home from work called my mother trying to get her voice mail so I could leave a sweet message but she answered. I had my sister's stupid ass boyfriend (she needs to break up with him, I worry about her so much) pick up roses for them. They were beautiful. Then they let me tag along with them to their dinner. It was fun to actually be with my parents without any fights or any disagreements. I believe it was the first time ever this has happened. Then on Father's day, I'm a bad daughter, I didn't have a gift but I went on a walk with them that turned out wonderful. My dad and I are starting to get closer to each other. We are actually fighting less. Well then last night I had a horrible dream that they both died in a car crash. It seemed so real, it was scary I hate that feeling.
It made me realize to love what you have, don't take anything for granted. Especially our families. Once they are gone who else do you have. Families are always there for you. I almost lost my mom when I was 12, it makes me wonder who and where I would be today if I did. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 14th, 2006|10:05 pm] |
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I feel like, I don't know, I can't explain it. I just don't like it. I just want to be someone else. Someone better than me, beautiful more intelligent, has a great life and a wonderful job. I will never be that person. So why even bother, I'm so sad right now. I thought I was good looking. Just a little bit, but not anymore. Everything, was going so good. But, who knows. Life is crazy, I guess. I don't like it. I will NEVER like it. I guess I'm just done with my bitching. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 7th, 2006|04:14 pm] |
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i just want to fucking give up... it seems like I'm the only one that works, and that i don't know how to explain it or anything ugh I HATE IT!!! fuck all of this I just want to cry... I guess I'm not suppose to be happy |
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| my best friend |
[May. 17th, 2006|07:32 pm] |
She just made my day. Now I'm sitting here in tears, not sad tears, but good tears. I don't know where I would be today if she wasn't in my life. It makes me think what kind of person I would be. Would I still be friends with the person who did the most damage to me? I have no idea. I don't want to know. All I know is that I love her, and she means the world to me. I will die to keep her alive. That is how much I love and trust her.
I wasn't having the best of days and today I feel really good. I just got this text from her. Oh hell I love her. First we were talking about work then how I'm feeling.
Me:Time heals all wounds they say... I think I just needed to be by myself
Robyn: I see :( I love you and I'm always there for you k
Me:Oh thank you I love you too... I'm here for you too... Your the best thing to happen to me
Robyn: Same here I would die with out you
She just made my day. I love her, and all of my friends |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 15th, 2006|01:55 pm] |
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I'm losing my mind. I can tell. Fuck!!! |
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| Mothers day |
[May. 14th, 2006|02:52 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sad | ] |
WOW!!! Today is suppose to be a great day. I just don't feel like its a great day. It feels like something is missing. Maybe, cuz there is something missing. Ugh! I just feel like I want to cry. Guys fucking suck, life sucks, everything sucks. Maybe, it's just one of those sucky days. I feel like I'm losing my best friend, the guy I like, and myself. That is one thing I can't lose is myself.
So far today, I received a voice mail that was irritating as hell. That kid can fuck off anyways. Gave my mom her gift and my sister broke it. Swell, I spent so much money on that gift. AND best of all I feel so lonely. Like no one is there. I don't like this feeling, I see everyone around me finding love, but me. I feel like giving up on love. The only guy I have ever loved came back into my life, now is leaving it again. I just live a fucked up life. I don't understand many things which is probably for the best. But, I just want to understand a couple of things, and I never will.
Such is life. |
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| alone |
[May. 10th, 2006|11:19 am] |
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I feel so alone. Its been for the past week now, I feel like the black plague. It seems like no one wants to be around me, talk to me, play with me. Maybe it's my fault. I have put up a wall for the longest time, maybe, people are getting sick of me. Who knows. I probably will be alone for the longest time. No one will love me, no one will care for me. I could be wrong, but I feel so right. |
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| thoughts |
[May. 8th, 2006|03:03 pm] |
Mistakes: Everyone makes them, big ones, little ones. So why do we judge people that make mistakes, most of the time its innocent mistake. I know I'm not perfect and I make a lot of mistakes. I learn from my mistakes, if it has to do with work, school, friends, and family matters.
Friends: I have met a lot of people in my life, and I would have to say that my friends have been the most influential. They come they go. I miss some of my old friends, some I am glad that are out of my life, and excited to meet the ones that will enter my life. I just wish that I can be a better friend, more understanding, and especially more entertaining and fun. I love all of my friends, and I hope they take my flaws as with me.
Memories: I think Avenged Sevenfold said it the best "We are our memory, without it we equal nothing." All I have in my head are many memories good ones and bad ones. They will never leave. My memories make me. It reminds me of how far I have come, and it shows how far I have to go. Thank you everyone for my many memories. Good or bad. I cherish them all.
Family: We have been through rough patches and there are still more to come. They have always been by my side, through the worst and the best. I can count on them for support and love. Even though that we don't understand each other we are still there. I love you guys!!! |
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| confusion |
[May. 6th, 2006|09:12 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  confused | ] |
Why is it when you fall for someone, everything changes, especially your thinking. I have a crush and now I'm so lost and confused. Scared out of my mind that i will fall for him, be in love with him. My feelings are so strong for this person. It's been over 6 years since i have felt these feelings. I try to stay away from a relationship but with him I'm draw to one. I know hes not ready, and he is different than most guys, that I have meant. He is amazing he knows how to make me smile, when I'm having the worst day ever. I cant get him out of my head. Why? Its not fair, I wish things were easier, I wish I could have him. Why is it that you desire what you cant have? |
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